How To Love and Be Loved | Part 5: Experiencing Full Relationships
Scientifically and biologically we are created to be in relationships, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy! We all know people who are hard to love. You could be related to them, you might even be in a relationship with them, but for one reason or another it’s difficult to love them unconditionally. Your chemistry might not connect, your personalities or abilities could clash, your lifestyles could be poles apart or there could be unhealthy history between you. Whatever the reasons, here are some steps you can take to love everyone in your life, even if you find them challenging:
Work on Yourself First
In relationships, you can’t just look outward and focus exclusively on others. It’s not all about them and what they’re doing or not doing. You must assume responsibility for yourself and examine your own actions and behavior. Always work on getting yourself as healthy as possible first and foremost. That way, you will have empathy for yourself, which in turn will give you empathy for those people you find difficult to love.
Accept Who and Where They Are
Once you recognize the need to work on yourself first, the goal is to come to a point of acceptance whereby you have empathy for the other person and acknowledge that there may be some issue in their life that keeps you from having a full relationship. You must be able to accept them for where they are and who they are and then try to figure out a plan to help them if they’re willing and capable.
Learn to Compromise
Compromise is key. You can’t have it all your own way. You must learn how to assume responsibility for what you brought or didn’t bring into a relationship. You own your actions.
Pray for Them
Prayer brings healing power to a relationship. If you are in a difficult relationship where you have been hurt or rejected by somebody, lift their name in prayer.
Have Reasonable Expectations
Don’t expect too much. Wherever people are in their life journey, and whatever wounds they have experienced along the way, you can’t expect more from them than they are capable of giving.
If we could address the lack of meaningful relationships with others, we could deal with most of the social problems in our society. Listen to the latest episode of “The Brian Buffini Show,” the fifth episode in a series of six with former NFL star Joe Ehrmann, to learn more about turning the wounds of the past into our purpose for the future.