Own Your Past, Change Your Future – an Interview with Dr. John Delony
If you want to be happy and healthy, you need to own your past and then leave it behind you where it belongs. I recently interviewed bestselling author Dr. John Delony about his new book, “Own Your Past, Change Your Future ,” and discovered how learning to unpack the weight of your past can help you to live the good life. Here are some of the top takeaways:
Go backwards to go forward
We all have stories we tell ourselves about who we are, how we got here and why we get stuck. If you want to achieve your life goals, it’s vital to understand where those stories come from. Think of your past as a backpack full of bricks that you have to carry everywhere you go. Over time, the weight of that bag can get incredibly heavy, whether it’s filled with small pebbles or enormous rocks. To successfully move into the future, you need to sit down, open that backpack and start asking yourself where those stories originated from. It’s only when you understand the stories from your past that you’ll be able to move forward.
If you want to successfully reach your goals, you have to be honest with yourself about where you are right now, as opposed to where you’d hoped to be. You must acknowledge and own reality, which can often mean grieving for what has not transpired in your life. All grief is the gap between what we hoped, wished or thought would happen and what actually did. Once you allow yourself to feel this loss, sit in it and fully grieve it, you can take the next step: deciding what you’re going to do now!
Connect with others
You can’t do life by yourself – you need other people to help you decipher your past and then change and grow. If you look up and around you, you’ll realize that you have all kinds of help close by that you can lean into – whether that’s family, friends, a mentor or a counselor. In today’s increasingly fractured world, we all need community and the opportunity to really connect with other people. Change is hard and, by yourself, it’s almost impossible. It’s only when you connect with others that you can truly change how you think and how you act.
With some help, you can move on from the burdens of your past and change your situation in life economically, environmentally and relationally. To learn more about reaching your goals by owning your past, listen to the latest episode of “It’s a Good Life”.