Buffini & Company Blog

Healthy Me, Healthy Us with Dr. Les Parrott

The key to deeper, more meaningful relationships with other people is you. I recently interviewed bestselling author and relationship expert Dr. Les Parrott about his new book, “Healthy Me, Healthy Us,” cowritten with his wife, Dr. Leslie Parrott. He explained why the single most important thing you can do to improve your relationships is to become a whole, healthy individual yourself. To get whole, you must get a lock on three things: profound significance, unswerving authenticity and self-giving love.

Profound Significance

The most important conversation you ever have is with yourself. Your internal dialog never stops – even when you sleep! Unfortunately, many people pummel themselves with negative self-talk all the time, beating themselves down, day after day. The person who has profound significance, on the other hand, has respect for themselves. Because they know they are loved by God, they can rise above the negative internal dialog. The great news is that it’s possible to reprogram your brain: the first step is to become aware of how you talk to yourself. Awareness is curative. Once you become aware, you can do something about it and be on your way to wholeness.

Unswerving Authenticity

Unswerving authenticity is about your relationship with yourself. Many people have a ‘disease to please,’ which means that they’re always seeking the approval of others. This is a terrible burden to live under. To become more whole, you must be true to yourself, no matter what others say. Know your purpose and don’t just follow your path, but run down it with energy and passion. Remember – just being yourself is good enough to be great!

Self-Giving Love

The last step to becoming whole is to transcend your own neediness and recognize other people’s needs. As Zig Ziglar used to say, “You can have everything in life you want if you will just help other people get what they want.” Grab opportunities to go the extra mile for people in both big and small ways. Relationships are all about mutual empathy and empathy is contagious – the more you practice it, the more it spreads!

If you try to build intimacy with other people before you’ve done the difficult work of getting whole on your own, all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself. The truth is, no one was designed to complete you – that’s work you have to do! By achieving true and lasting wholeness, you can transform every relationship in your life. To find out more, listen to the latest episode of “The Brian Buffini Show”.

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